There was a time when paintings were pretty and fresh things to create, in the same way that Flash animations and Websites are today. But there is still a way to paint amazing pictures. Here are the rules of the "Neen Dogma of Painting":
1. In order to paint a large canvas, buy large brushes. Many of them, because you will need clean brushes to smooth the line where the different colors meet. Only Oil on Canvas is allowed. Never mix the colors with anything else than linseed oil.
2. Use a projector to display the picture you want to paint on the canvas. If you know how to draw, do not make paintings: make Flash Animations or Fashion instead.
3. Abstract paintings are prohibited unless you invent an "automatic system", such as those of Jackson Pollock and Lucio Fontana. That is cool because anybody can use their systems and successfully produce Fontana and Pollock pictures. Abstract Art is interesting only when it originates from a machine or from a person who emulates a machine.
4. Use the most expensive material, so you will feel the urgency to make something valuable in order to get your expenses back.
5. Composition, colors and size of the painting, should be copied from other paintings in the Museums.
6. Deal with the brush stroke as if you were a hairdresser.
7. You should use assistants. They should have no experience or any interest in painting. Just hire the people whose features match the characters you want to paint and ask them to fill your canvas as if they were painting a wall: without any passion. Command your assistants to use the wrong color so you will feel the urgency of taking over and save the work from them.
8. Paint many pictures at the same time and let them dry before you apply a new layer of colour. Sometimes, you will notice that the colour your prepared for a painting should go to another painting instead. A picture may take many years until it will be completed and actually, it's not your job to finish it. If people want to buy it before its done, just sell it to them.
9. The most important instruction: try to discover and represent, something that has never been painted before. If you find such a subject, you will produce a masterpiece whatever ther manner you may use to paint it.
10. Make copies of your most important paintings and permit to other to copy them. All important painters of the past were making copies and that's why their work has survived today.
The "Neen Dogma of Painting", is written by Miltos Manetas, in the occasion of the 50th Venice Biennial.
Commissioned by FrancescoBonami.com